one bridge crossed.

On October 11, 2010 Kassidy was diagnosed with Autism. I write that date down, because for some reason I don't want to forget it. I have this weird obsession to look up bible verses that might have to do with certain dates of importance. Naturally I looked up something for this date as well. Here is what I found:

Romans 10:11 As the Scripture says, "Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame."

When we're out in public everyone instantly falls in love with Kassidy. It's always the same thing, she tells you "Hi, I'm Kassi" then proceeds to introduce you to her baby brother, her mama, and her daddy. Always in that order. Of course off the bat she just seems like a very polite outgoing little girl. She'll then go back to either dancing in circles or reciting Wonder Pets songs. The next question is always "What is she about 2 or 3?" When we tell said stranger she's 4 they always get this look on their face like they just realized something isn't right, but they aren't quite sure what. That look... I hate that look. Kassidy doesn't understand that look, I'm not even sure she's ever noticed it. But with everything else she goes though, I'm so thankful she has never felt "shame" from that look. It's disheartening to me as a mother that we live in a society that can look at an innocent little girl and judge her. When she has a meltdown at the grocery store or a restaurant, I now recite Romans 10:11 in my head, and suddenly it's as if everyone with the darting stares has disappeared.

We had suspected Kassidy was on the spectrum for almost two years before she was diagnosed. Time after time we'd have to fight her pediatrician to send her to a specialist because she felt it was just a speech issue. Finally I took her to a specialist myself. Once we got the diagnosis of Autism something snapped in my head. All the sudden I started going through denial, even though I've "known" it to be true for so long before this. It took me a few weeks to cope and understand because before, there was still that chance it was something else. Now that it was confirmed it was like, wait this is something permanent... something concrete and that freaked me out. Of course it doesn't really change much, she's still Kassi but no one wants to hear anything is wrong with their child, even if they know it's true.

Now that I've had time to come to terms with everything, it's been all about working with her and getting her the help she needs. Her case worker said something that's really stuck with me, "Kassidy doesn't need to adjust, everyone else around her needs to." It's so true, she's not doing anything wrong. Now instead of fighting to have them find out what was going on, we can focus all our energy on positive progress and I'm so excited to see what the future holds for her.