Monday, January 10, 2011

because everyone is an expert - just have some tact

I've been keeping something bottled up inside and quite frankly I need to voice it before I erupt like a volcano. First I need to make something very clear. Never is it ok to talk about someone elses child in a negative manner. Ever. I do not care if you had good intentions, or if you think you are an expert on everything under the sun because you read an article online or in your class.

Recently I was told "After Kassidy's diagnosis everything made sense. All the issues she was having playing with other kids and the issues she was having with everyone else. The way an autistic child plays with another child is very different from the way a normal child plays with other normal children. But I just figured you never let her play with other kids."

At first I said, should I be offended? Kassidy IS autistic, is what she said really that wrong? Listen. The very first thing I want EVERYONE to understand is I hate the word "normal". You will never hear me say normal. I prefer "typical". My child is not abnormal, she just does things differently. Second, I'm fully aware that the way an autistic child plays with other children isn't the same that typical children play. I live this everyday, I promise you I don't need it thrown in my face. It should be understood that although Kassidy plays different, she still loves other kids. She loves to be around them and they have fun together - yes, even the typical children have fun too.

The bottom line is, no matter how you look at it, this is talking smack on my child (and my parenting if you count the snarky comment about me supposedly not letting her play with other kids.) Lets go back to preschool people, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. If the intentions were to make me feel horrible, then I applaud you as you've succeeded. The only thing that needs to be said about my daughter is how sweet, silly, and hilarious she is. And really, that goes way beyond the fact that I'm biased. She is the most carefree, life loving child I have EVER met and if her autism has brought her any advantage thus far, it's that she is completely oblivious to how cruel people can be.

I typically stay away from conflict. I don't participate in breastfeeding vs formula debates, home school vs traditional school, stay at home mom vs working mom. What is right for one family isn't right for another. So many times I hear this competition about "my baby rolled over first, got their first tooth first, and hes 6 months old and says 300 words why doesn't YOURS!" The one thing that goes all across the board is no one needs to be talking trash on anyone, especially children. That's the one thing that is right for everyone...

No comments:

Post a Comment